Speaking of songs, I have one more. Not remebering of trips, but a moment. I remembered it when Magdalena dyed my hair yesterday and it was played on the radio. Last I heard it I was on my way home from a training. My parents asked if I wanted a ride but I wanted to go. I had to rummage deep into the silly thoughts about motivation. Motivation for life, training, friends, requirements and everything else. I walk very fast with hard determined steps. I was angry at myself because I wanted to be happy but couldn't, the will was not there. When this song was played random (had pressed the shuffle in all songs) tears started to flow. I felt the smallest and most unworthy person in the world.
Yesterday when they played this song again, I got a euphoria in the body. All I thought about then, is gone today. I survived even though I had paid good money to stay at home and pull the covers over your head every day.
Do not give up. Fight. Life is a beautiful thing, and even when it feels you're constantly at the bottom, there are things that are great.